Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
