Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
