I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
