i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
