the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
