please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
