Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize