Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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