maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize