Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
