I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He kissed a someone with a penis
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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