sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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