I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
