Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to calm my uterus...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
