Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
