I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
