i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize