apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
