It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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