drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize