I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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