I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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