Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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