Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
