Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
