You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we're making bets on your personal life
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
