Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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