What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
