Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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