you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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