I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
