things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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