my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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