I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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