it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize