In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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