i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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