just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
