I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
