Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just pee around me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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