well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
