I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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