In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
