Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I intend to get homeless drunk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Alive.
So much puke
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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