you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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