...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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