all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
