Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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