I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
