Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
