I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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