piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
