I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
