i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
