Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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