singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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