Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
