Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
