so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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