i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize