Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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