nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
