Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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