Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
