Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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