MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
