he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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