Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
